Broccoli-Cheese Soup: Eat At Your Own Risk

2 bunches broccoli, cut into florets
1/2 cup salted butter
1/2 lg white onion, diced
1/2 cup flour
2 cups half-and-half (feel free to substitute fat free or milk or any combination- your arteries will thank you!)
1 cup grated cheddar cheese (mild or sharp)
2 cups of chicken broth or stock
Velveeta Cheese
kosher salt
pepper

1. Cook (steam) broccoli until easily pierced with a fork and drain (go ahead and puree about 1/3-1/2 of the broccoli with a fork or in a food processor)
2. Sautee onions in butter until tender and transparent
3. Sprinkle in the flour and stir constantly for 5 minutes
4. Add half-and-half (or milk) slowly, stirring constantly
5. Stir in grated cheese until smooth
6. Slowly incorporate chicken broth into sauce
7. Add Velveeta to taste *I typically add 4-6 oz. You can omit if you prefer, but the Velveeta gives it just a touch creamier texture
8. Stir in pureed broccoli
9. Cut up the remaining pieces to the size of your preference and add to soup
10. Simmer 15 minutes stirring often

Note: I served this to friends BURNT once. It wasn't nearly as good. Make sure that you stir *OFTEN*-- I cannot overemphasize STIR OFTEN and keep the heat on a medium low setting after the onions are sauteed.

Serve with homemade garlic bread from a french baguette-- and don't skimp on the garlic. Bon appetite!

*I accept no responsibility for any potential ill-effects*

Vegetables: Love'em or Hate'em They're Here to Stay

"I give whatever grows out of the ground for food." Genesis 1:29 (MSG)

Throughout my entire life I have had a vehement disdain for anything resembling a vegetable. Growing up, I sat at the dinner table many nights crying as I tried to choke down a pea. It should not have been difficult. My parents' rule was that I had to eat the same number of vegetables as my age. 8-years-old = 8 peas. Easy peasy-- Get it?! (I crack myself up!) No really, for me it was pure torture. I cried and cried, and I never did learn to appreciate veggies.

Fast forward 28 years. I am desperately trying to bury the proverbial green hatchet. In a salute to broccoli, I made this delicious broccoli cheese soup for dinner last night. It was so yummy that it was all I ate. I forgave broccoli. With mercy oozing out of my soul, I even considered that peas and I just might reach a truce soon...if it weren't for this:

PAIN. LOTS and LOTS of PAIN.

I went up to my bedroom writhing in frustrating, annoying, indescribable pain. It was worse than natural labor. I had no idea what was happening to my insides. Surely my appendix didn't just burst. Right?All I knew is that I was pleading with God to make it stop. After clenching my teeth for what seemed like an eternity, I finally fell fast asleep. And when I woke up, it dawned on me.

Broccoli = Gas

Gross. Dirty, dirty trick. See what I get for trying to be nutritionally responsible (please ignore the cheese and other fatty goodness included the photographed soup)?

I'll keep trying. Broccoli will not defeat me. I'll beat this body and make it my slave. And one of these days, vegetables won't make me sick anymore. Literally.

Please share any hints, tips or tricks that you know to help me turn my taste buds green!(Figuratively, of course.)