The Now vs The Normal

I like life neat and tidy.

I do.

But there's just one little problem;

It's not.

(period.)

Remember this post? I'm still working on mastering intentionality. If I'm honest, I'll just throw my right hand up and admit right now that I always will be. There are moments when I feel so overwhelmed that I'm not even sure what to be intentional about.

Sometimes it feels like my little box of life is all wrapped up in shiny paper with a picture-perfect bow on top. Other times, I feel like the package was ransacked by wide-eyed toddler on Christmas morning. And it takes less than a minute to go from one extreme to the other--both literally and figuratively.

When I start to feel like things are a getting messy, I have a nasty little tendency to just hit the "pause" button. The problem is that I can't pause life, or I'll miss living in the process. I'll miss friendships. I'll miss opportunities. I'll miss...so much.

Our life has been quite a ride over the past year, and it isn't over yet. Even though "normal" (aka "neat" and "tidy") is good for my psyche, I can't allow my life to only function in that mode. Life, even the abnormal, just isn't worth missing.

So here it is, my confession to you all: I'm working at being intentional in the NOW and not waiting for the NORMAL.

(And just so you know...It physically pains me to type that. Sigh...confession over. Is it time for bed yet?)

I'm Jack

I assume that you've all heard the phrase, "Jack of all trades, master of none." Well, sometimes that little ditty just sing-songs it's way throughout my mind for better part of any given day. It's annoying. Moreover, it's annoying because I can't stop thinking of myself as Jack. Something about it just doesn't sit quite right.

And frankly, I think that being "Jack" is depressing.

Something in that phrase leaves me feeling lacking. Like even though Jack dabbled in a lot, he somehow still came in last place.

I promise that I'm not on a quest for perfection. That would only leave even the best of us feeling inadequate and disappointed. But as 2010 sweeps in, I am on a mission to live with Intentionality. It makes me wonder whether or not Jack was an intentional sort of fellow.

What does intentionality mean anyway? For this wife, mommy, daughter and friend, it means that I commit to live with intention and purpose. I commit to ask the Lord what His purpose is for me and then live intentionally to see that purpose through.

Do you know what the opposite of intentional is? Haphazard.

Jack just seems to be a little bit haphazard to me. I don't know why. It's not a fair judgment, but that's just how that jingle plays out in my head. The idea being, "Lots to do with little purpose in doing it." Yech. Ugh. Eww.

It really has nothing to do with how good we are at doing anything; It has everything to do with how intentional we are in doing everything.

I guess I'm just fine with being a "Jack of all trades" as long as I'm doing life with a Live.Love focus. At the end of this year, the only thing that I hope and pray that I've mastered are my own intentions. And that in doing so, I've set aside or thrown out my ideas and efforts in exchange for His.

Because He is the master of all trades-- and I'm just Jack.