On Vision- Part 1 {Day 2}

There was a time in my life when I spent my days and nights worrying dreaming about "my vision." Some of you reading this know *exactly* what I'm talking about without me even typing another word. It was programmed into us: Remember "Without vision, people perish," and "What's the one thing that you HAVE to do before you die?"-- and somewhere along the way, it became the measuring rod of success in my life.

The thing is, as noble as that charge was, at 17, 18 or 19 years old, how do you know? Don't get me wrong (bear with me while I insert my obligatory caveat), I believe that we can have a dream and even know at a young age what the Lord is asking us to pursue in our lives. After all, I want that for my children too. But what I also know is that 1 internship, 365 daily quiet times and 2 fasting and prayer retreats later, the dream that I was so passionate to pursue at age 20 died as new seasons of my life sprang to life. And ironically, it really wasn't "the death of a dream," but rather, "the death of a neat idea."

While those same seasons gave birth to new dreams, somehow those new dreams erroneously felt ignoble in comparison. And I couldn't quite shake that what I was living...the new dream that I was pursing...it just surely wasn't enough. After all, if I could imagine it, then I obviously wasn't dreaming big enough for God, right?

(Stay tuned for more. I'm not sure how long we'll stay on this topic, but let me assure you from the start that this messages isn't anti-"dreaming dreams." On the contrary, it's about visioneering with wisdom, but we'll get to that later. ;))

Taking the Challenge {Day 1}

This all-or-nothing, black-or-white paradigm that I entertain is obnoxiously limiting.

I mentioned my inability to blog when my "blog space" isn't up to par in a Facebook status about a week ago. My friend, Lindsay, replied that basically I should make a 30 day commitment to blogging. Then, when that commitment was finished, I could look at the themes that poured out of my heart most often. While I'm not exactly looking for a theme or POV, I am looking for the freedom share my voice. And no one can hear you when you don't speak, right?

The "shades of gray" are where we grapple with the tension. And it's the those blurred dusky hues that keep me from saying anything at all.

But not this month. I'm taking the challenge. 30 days of blogging it is. Rain or shine... I'm in.

Thanks, Linds!

Cement Feet

I have a compulsive need to share my vulnerable heart.

You'd never know it (because I am, undeniably, an introvert).

That said, I crave fellowship. I love relationship. But mostly, I don't just desire time with people-- I want safe authenticity with precious, spirit-nourishing, together life-living friends.

But when I can't open up (for reasons beyond my control)...

It's like my feet are cemented to the ground.

(Photo credit)

I can't move. I'm bolted down. My lips are shackled. Life pauses.

And I'm lonely.

BUT...

"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end...and I will turn away your captivity." Jeremiah 29:11, 14 (KJV)

I will pry these feet from the mire and stride confidently on.

...in due time.